Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A Very Late Updates!!!!!!

Well, there are a lot of things happened to my life during the passed mid-year. Getting along from the side-effects of the Christmas vacation, then my Graduation, to my haircut. till landing in a job and then back at getting unemployed.

Anyways as obvious to my earlier blogs I was at a spell during my vacation till i got over it at the time my relationship with my man. But then u have to accept some facts in life that theres always yin and yang to eperiencea and have been there and managed to struggle till you have to start again. But then frustrations come and tried to ruin you but at the end optimism came and puts you back where u have walked through to be back on track.

But im happy to have overcome those experiences that made me feel that it is still me that has the power to continue what ive strived for (if there really was) and feel that thislife is just one and have each day of it worthy.

Now what i want is to achieve my dreams and fullfill what i really wanted to do. Being independent know makes me feel that im strong and that whatever choices i maden there will be no regrets felt.

So head on to the future with my heads up and proud that i have manage my personal weaknesses. ill be looking back to the learnings from the past which is a good tool for me to use in this stage im in now for my future history:-)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sweet Memory Flashback

During our Christmas vacation with my Xavi last December, our last pit stop was on this beautiful, exotic and secluded island of Apo. Situated off the southeast coast of Negros island. This not-so-disturbed island has much to offer not just because of the peaceful surrounding but with its simplicity that you can feel you are in a blue lagoon movie. Even if you cant find the sugar-like sands in here but you can appreciate more the relieving pebbles in your feet and be amazed with the natural rock-formations that sprung out from the sea.

It is not just what you see from the outside you can get from this island. This has a secret that you have to immersed. With its richness you'll wander it is very easy to be in another world. I'm talking about the World of the Greek god of the sea, Poseidon or Neptune in Roman mythology. What your eyes see from the exterior in the transparent water is a normal rock-algae form living under the water. But if you take a dive, you'll be shocked on how more beautiful the inside than the outside. This rock-algae formations turned out to be the beautiful corals that is the habitat of different species of Poseidon's citizens. The fish living in harmony with other sea creatures in their natural environment. The colors in the Poseidon's world varies and is very rich. Really a nice feeling to experience.
The experience was very rewarding for we set off from the neighboring island of Siquijor on the morning of the 24th, the day before Christmas. We haven't booked any hotels in the island and without first-hand information gathered but armed only with a brochure from the tourism authority about Negros Oriental that we got from the Mactan Airport during our arrival from the island of Camiguin. When we arrived at noon in the port of Dumaguete City, we walked through the Boulevard passing through Siliman University. We took our lunch in a Mexican restaurant where we ask the waitress how to get to Apo island. The waitress advised us to consult a travel agency but most were close because it is a holiday. We walked around the city and asking people information and looking for an agency to book us transport and accommodation to the island. We found an agency but they can do anything for us because it has to be an early booking three days before the travel. We have no choice but to go there at our own risk. So we got some money to in a ATM machine for our expenses then headed off to the jeepney stop form Dumaguete to the market place in Malatapay where the wharf is located. From the wharf you'll take a 30 minute boat ride going to the island. When we arrive im the island we were amazed on its simplicity.

We directly went to the exclusive resort in hopes that they have available rooms. There are no reception area so we were entertained in the bar of the restaurant. Luckily they have so we were happy to have a place to stay for Christmas Midnight. The experience was like the Christmas story. The we enjoyed the beautiful sunset that day and have our Christmas dinner with fresh fish, beef and chicken paired with a bottle of white whine. We spent two days in the island but never regret to came there because the experience was worth it. Xavier and me love the island and hope that we could visit there again for more days.

See ya in the future island Apo. Wait for us!:-)


feeling good about ourselves,

bringing back good memories,

adding more spice to the relationship,

creating more sensible conversation,

giving intimate moments,

feeling more close to each other,

longing to meet again,

killng the distance,

sharing and understanding,

feeling the happiness of love.

X y M

Where is Queen Raquela?

The Amazing Truth of Queen Raquela the movie that traces its origins in Cebu. But what is really the true contents of this movie that we are dying to see for. Curiosity really kills. After garnering the best feature film of the recently concluded Teddy Awards in the Berlin Film Festival. The award giving body for LGBT-related films.

As it bested other entries from different countries in the world, it would be nice that we can have the opportunity to view this internationally considered movie about a "ladyboy" prostitute here in our country. this would a great way to show if the truth in the Raquela movies the true to the reality of Philippine society especially to the reality of ts/tg in the country.

What was shown in the trailer, the film was creatively furnished with scenes of ts/tg and her continuing relationship within the restrictive society she is living. The reality of poverty, discrimination and partiarchal domination in the Philippines.

The movies was about Raquela who dreams of escaping the streets of Cebu City and live a fantasy to have queenly life in Paris. She turned to prostitution to achieve her dreams. Believing that men from first world (his prince charming) can give her the life she imagined. Her prostitution brought her from the street to the very private the more profitable business of Internet porn. She succeeded to be a famous a porn star that paved way to having more online friends, including Michael, his boss in the porn site and Valerie, a ladyboy from Iceland.

Eventually Valerie helps Raquela to fly out to Iceland. There, she experienced the hardness and taste the milk and honey she longed for. Michael, then offers her a rendezvous in Paris. then the rest was.........watching the whole movie when it arrives in theater near you!!!!

I just hope that movie will be shown in the Philippines soon!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Time and ME

They say "time is gold", thus it has worth. I don't depend my behavior towards time with this phrase but it is just innate in my personality to virtue this abstract idea. Eventhough we don't see, hear, touch, smell and taste time, it is the state where you can do and make your actions out of your best.

By pledging acquaintance lets the person to give his available time to someone. Giving us the "terms of engagement".With that, it is expected to comply to that pledge. In the business world, it is ideal to be "on time" because time could either means gain or loss. So all of the so called professionals are expected to conform to their signed pledge with their companies. Circumstances such as not keeping that will faced sanctions of termination of a business position. Thus, professionals are following such expectations in order not to face further sufferance.

But how about normal people? Pledges is normal to human activity. This is manifested though meeting people whether they are closed to you or not. Dates also have pledges. Giving each other time to be versed. Even pledges are normal, it has been normal too not conforming to it. So we have the tendency to break that engagement in pledges that it is more than normal that we became used to it.

With time as part of the pledge of acquaintance, tardiness is an element to broke the terms of engagement. By giving time when to meet someone can let you give the procurable time one has. It is understandable that people can be late normally. But the bad part of the engagement is waiting. The waiting agony can make someone feel bad just because of waiting or expecting that the time given to her was the person's( to meet) attainable time. But it is always a case to case bases and every situations are different.

Personally my behavior towards time changed when I first met the situation during a work engagement. I was late that time and the one who brought me for that make up job was angry because i have to consider that when u have engagement u have offered your time to that. And if you cant comply then consequences happens. In that situation, consequences such as not finishing on time is inevitable and if that happen immediate sanctions such as not paying for the service, payment deduction and bad reputation to customers. That experience changed my approach with time. Although this experience is more of business, I think that it also must be applied by normal people who pledge for engagements. If someone knew that he cant conform to that engagement or can be tardy then he "must" give the right attainable time he can.

Clarifying on situations of dates in relationships, It is not about you don't understand not allowing a late partner to be happy. Of course, if he was happy that time then his partner would be happy for him too. thats the goal in the relationship making each other happy. The thing with situations such as this would come of the thought that he must be aware also that he gave his so called "attainable time" to another person or to a partner perhaps. Enduring to that normality is not universal and depends on the person's personality towards time in particular.

We can understand by being tardy made that person happy, but allowing to be late as always on the said available can be infuriating to the person who considers time valuable. You can understand the person if he can give u time or not, but just not let others expect and wait. There are two outcome for this, either the one can change time habits or the other one will change for the other. Resolutions for this case would be the person who somehow was offended of action will assure that he will not do it again even if you know he can do it because its normal. Being sorry is enough but it will be better to recommend resolutions.

I think it is about time management and be attentive to his confirmed engagements would be the great way to avoid breaking the terms of engagement. So I rest my case.


To clarify the inquiries and thought on why did I cut my hair, this article will tell u the reasons and will close intrigues about it.

First of all, I always had a bad hair day. I was not gifted with a nice silky straight hair. The time my hair was long i felt insecure about it for it really looks dull and dead to the eyes of other tg/ts. Well its not all disadvantage i got out from my hair. Compare to others, my hair has a great volume and wavy. No difficulty in setting any hair style I liked. If i wanted a straight hair then i ironed it, or curl it with curling apparatuses.

Well, living in a Filipino cultural views of beauty, you cant escape the fact that you will not feel insecure about how you look among fellowmen especially tg/ts own concept of beauty. I imagined to be beautiful and have my hair straighted with the fad of "hair rebonding". I tuned out disastrous because my hair was falling from the breakages due to the "mal-process" of the straightening method ( Bad iron was used so more force was inflicted to my hair). At first, it looked nice but as time goes by, my hair turned to be disaster. So i cut my hair in different styles like having bangs, layered, colored and curling it with perm. I felt sorry for my hair because of that!

Last April 11, I decide to end all of the suffering from society's reaction ti my hair's condition. Ive talked with Samantha abut how i really like hair during the 1960's. Trying to have the hair style and beauty of classic actresses in the likes of Audrey Hepburn, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Jacky Onassis just to name the few. Seeing the performance of AI contestant David Archuleta of the Beatles hit "Long and Winding Road". I was inspired to do the haircut and think of where to have it cut. So i thought that an older stylist can do that and immediately went to Wendy Mendoza hoping she can do it.

When we arrived there, the parlor was closed and we were advised to come back tomorrow. Then, we came back the next day and have my hair cut. The stylist was hesitant to cut it for it is an asset to have a long hair. I just let her be on what past style she will give to my hair. But it turned out that my dead hair was more obvious. There, I decided that she will cut it again and so what happen happened.

I got this new past look!!!!! Its very refreshing because, summer season with its humidity, the cut will give me breath of fresh air to my "cuerpo". Well, as a fresh graduate, maybe it will give more advantage to get hired to my chosen classified job i will apply....So far they liked my hair and told me i look young with it

Isn't that nice? I got mah new look with a plus! That is comfortability, youthfulness and more!!!!

Transexual Vendetta Book 2. 0: other side of the coin

Upon the request of Ts DA to let me know her part, so we chatted in a conference with Raquela, Ceyj, and Ts DA. She started talking about how the Foreign Guy came to the Philippines last January. She said that FG(uy) had first met with Cj and confirmed that the really had a relationship because the guy admitted it to Ts DA before he left for Dubai.

The relationship between FG and Cj, being short-lived, from being introduced to Cj's friends in a party, the femme helped the guy by advising him about his annulment from his ex-wife, till referring him to a lawyer. Then they became close and the rest was theirs to tell. Then, the man told Cj that he had to go to Manila for a business encounter, but was believed that he did not got there, for the reason, accdg. Ts DA, he did the alibi because she want to be distant with Cj for unknown reasons and shifting it attention to Raquela.

Ts DA continued, Raquela as the next obvious target for relationship with FG. But Raquela ignored the guy and introduced Ts DY and Ts F in a beach resort in Mactan. That time the two Ts are in the race to get the man's attention and so Ts DY had been chosen. Right then and there, their relationship started.

She said, she was acquainted with the man out from nowhere and boredom. That time she was in Janeia'a house and saw Raquela there and asked her where she headed to. She replied that she will be meeting Mr. FG in Crown Regency and so she asked Raquela if she can go with her because she at bore that time. They went off to the guy and when they arrived at the place, the man hope on the vehicle and went to a restaurant for a talk while waiting for Ts DY to come.

While in the car, Raquela introduced her to the guy. Then the guy asked whose car she was driving and she answered it her and it was given by her two boyfriends. So he was kinda shocked hearing the answer like a prima donna. After they stopped at Kul's Restaurant in IT park for dinner. While waiting for Ts DY and Ts F, she said, they talked "just" all about Dubai and nothing else. When Ts DY arrived, she said, she distant herself, as a sign of respect, from the lovers because she thought they had a relationship that time and that she's not aware that Ts DY and Ts F was on competition of FG at that moment.

She was just informed about that matter, after their meeting with FG's recent visit. The guy told her that he didn't liked the competition between two persons for him because Ts DY always asked him about who ranks first over the others and the guy he dislike such behavior. He was silent about that because he doesn't want Ts DY to get hurt.

According to Raquela, FG was a man of substance, prefers a good conversation, and is not a flirt.
So,one day the guy messaged her in Friendster and told her that the guy didn't felt that Ts DY was the right one he is looking for to give him the love and care from a partner. And also, she quoted the man's word, that Ts DY was a self-centered person and only FG can explain for inquiries why he told such things.

The time FG arrived last Thursday of the 8th of April, she never knew that he came that day and she was aware of it when Carlota told her on the night after the arrival. Even she knew FG will arrived in April and she asked for Domln's opinion about FG's calls to her because she was confused on the situation and she doesn't have any plans to be linked with the both. But Domln's attention was not of that, but of matters concerning personal attacks from his group through a survey that why FG's concerns was not tackled between her and Domln.

Never appeared since Thursday, she explained that, on that very Sunday she received three missed calls from the man and a message telling her that he wanted Ts DA to call him when she can. She furthered, that she was in Simala that day so that's why she haven't answered the man's calls and eventually meeting him 8 pm on that very Sunday.

They were together from that Sunday at 8pm till 1 am, Monday at 4pm to 11pm, then on that Tuesday from 2 pm, met their accident at 11:45 until they were hospitalized. While in the hospital, she sent messages to all her friends about her condition and inviting Domln and Xrab in the hospital. There, the night after that, the two visited Ts DA and was shocked seeing FG with a arm fracture in the hospital, just silent to Ts DY as of that time, while they were going to hear explanations from FG and Ts DA.

According to Ts DA, while they talked in the hospital, Domln had slipped her tongue about Han Dynasty, this man is another ts lover to whom both ts are planned to meet, and FG already knew about this person arrival and the planned meeting of Ts DY and other ts's ,because of unknown ts who told him about the hidden agenda, whom FG didnt refused to name. FG assured anyone that it was not Ts DA who told him about that but another ts from Friendster while Ts DA affirmed that she did not tell the guy because he was part of the meeting with that man. So the guy came back to to Ts DY to untie the knot of their relationship.

So all was silent to Ts DY about what happened, till she was shocked to see his man in a broken-arm and FG alibied to her that he had met an accident while seeing her son. As Ts DY mentioned, that the time he told her the reason the guy cant look straight to her eye. So the guy visited Ts DA in the hospital reasoning to Ts DY that he will visit his son cos its his last night in the country. Ts DY went to a comedy bar to take off the worry and sent the guy a message to come to her after his visit to his son while that incident happened in the hospital with Domln and Xrab. She suspicious at first but didn't mind it until rumors arrived at her door step.

Ts DY in fury, knowing that the guy had been dishonest and infidel with her, she commanded the man to come back in the house and explained the truth to her. There, a great fight happened between the two because of mixed emotions they felt towards each other. There, according to FG to Ts DA, the friends of Ts DY brainwashed FG throwing away bad languages against TS DA. so the man left the house telling everybody that he doesn't want to hear from them again and that they were all liar. Ts DA also mentioned that Ts DY messaged her asking why did she met FG last Sunday and didn't gave any respect even if she knew that he has a relationship with her. So she replied that ask the man this questions so that she will know the answers why the man met with her instead of TS DY.

Hearing this words coming from FG, Ts DA said that what they said bad about her was thrown back with them because, according to FG, he didn't like the fact of digging Ts DA's past and telling bad words about her. So in her Ts DA side, all the "brainwashing" was in favor of her. That Wednesday's morning, the man visited her again because of his cam and that afternoon he expressed his feelings towards Ts DA. She answered back she lost mostly everything she had her car, mobile and specially her friends but the man replied if she will refuse his feelings then all will be bad for her because she lost many thing but if she accept it then all will be well.

But because all of the bad gossips flying around, She got bad reputations due to misunderstanding of the situation. She said that Raquela can attest to that the guy is a nice gentleman, just accompany each other, no holding hands, no kiss, or even sex happened. And she continued that, she never brainwashed FG's mind because she seldom talk about Ts DY when she is with him and talk more about her ex-wife, hi child and their annulment.

The problem was with Xarb's interpretaions who poisoned the story and worsen the situation by bring her interpretations to Ts DY without even asking the real story from FG. She even intentionally did her part letting Domln and Xarb to meet FG in the hospital for them to question personally interrogate him about the matter due to the great tension that time. She said that most report are always added and deducted.But because of Xarb's bias, she accused me that i had sex with FG and his already her bf that they haven't kissed each other from Sunday but only on Wednesday when they became sentimental.

She wanted to emphasize that it was a good karma because angels were still there protecting her and that she got only bruises to the fact she can be dead in the accident and "that GOD wants me to discover what purpose i have on this earth..."

The hate continues till the other part articulates.... Hoping that the two faction will have full reconciliation....